767 ELM STREET * ROCKY HILL * CONNECTICUT 06067
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767 ELM STREET * ROCKY HILL * CONNECTICUT 06067 |
           
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The near-death experience (NDE) continues to excite the interest of people around the world. Many people have heard of the heavenly type of near death experience but there are four basic types of NDE, some types not so heavenly. In her book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Near-Death Experiences, P.M.H. Atwater describes four basic types of NDE, which include the following:
In examining the NDE phenomenon the question will arise, do only religious people have NDEs? The answer is no! Believers and non-believers have reported having a NDE. Of course, after having a NDE many non-believers have begun a spiritual quest that had not been a part of their lives prior to the NDE. This leads us to a further question, how does a NDE affect people? The Effects of a NDE The International Association of Near-Death Studies delineates a number of after-effects of a NDE in a brochure they published, and can be downloaded on a computer by going to www.iands.org. Recently, I was attending a monthly meeting of some people who have had a NDE at UCONN Medical Center in Farmington, Ct. Upon leaving the meeting I began to walk out of the hospital with a person who had had a NDE. He kept looking over his shoulder at the ceiling lights. At first, I did not know what to make of this until I remembered that some people who have had a NDE often display energy after-effects. What I mean by this is that they will pass by lights, microwave ovens, television sets, computers, and other electrical devices and these devices will malfunction and sometimes go haywire. Such after-effects are typical of what many people who have had a NDE go through in their day to day lives. P.M.H. Atwater lists the following aftereffects of a NDE that many people may manifest as a result of a NDE: PsychologicalThe after-effects of a NDE on adults can, as we can see from the list above, be considerable. There are common positive and negative reactions manifesting in those adults who have had a NDE. 3 The most common positive reactions are:
There a number of negative reactions that some NDErs have manifested as well. These negative reactions include:
Among the most challenging after-effects of a NDE for an adult is how that person relates to his or her family. Family members of an adult person who has had a NDE are often perplexed, scared and confused by the new behaviors and orientation of the person. The adult who has had a NDE will often take up to seven years to successfully integrate the experience, often with the help of trained counselors and an empathetic family. Moreover, one challenge to an adult person who has had a NDE includes considerable strain on his or her marriage. Statistics reveal that up to 70-75% of marriages end in divorce for adult NDErs. However, children who have had a NDE, when they get married as adults, tend to stay married with a marriage success rate of 80%! A deacon who recognizes the challenge that the NDE presents to a married couple may be of great assistance with healthcare givers in helping the NDEr and the family to better integrate the experience. The effects resulting from a NDE can lead to profound life changes. It is estimated that around 80% of the people who had a NDE were changed forever by the experience. Many of these people come to love and accept others without the usual attachments and conditions that society expects and supports. Many see the wonder and joy in meeting each person as another encounter with the Ultimate Divine Mystery that lies behind the person. Also, many NDErs manifest a different sense of time; some with a pronounced sense of timelessness. Such a development can be very disruptive to family life-especially as this pertains to appointments and bill paying! The overall effects for those who have had a NDE is a more spiritual outlook on life, loss of the fear of death, a love for all people, a willingness to forgive others, a deep acceptance of the self, a stronger belief in God, and a deep sense of compassion for people and their suffering. Many of those who have had a NDE express a concern for social justice, understanding that we are responsible for each other and the world we are creating. 4 There are significant challenges for those who have had a NDE and for those who are related to those persons. Among one of the most difficult challenges for the person who has had a NDE is getting the members of his or her family to accept and understand his or her experience. A significant number of those who have had a NDE will lament that they were often ignored or silenced when they wanted to talk about their experience by the medical staff at the hospital and family members at home. In some families, the person who has had a NDE may be referred to psychiatric care. The absence of a sensitive caregiver for a person who has had a NDE can result in years of depressive episodes in life. For many of these people the combination of feeling kicked out of heaven, i.e., having to return to this life, and the lack of understanding caregivers can make integrating the experience into life very difficult. The need for well-informed ministers, such as deacons, ministering to those who have had a NDE, may be critical for a person being able to re-integrate into this-worldly reality with greater ease and less family disruption.
Deacon Robert M. Pallotti, D.Min. Return to Saint James Home Page |